Allow me to be BLUNT!!!!!

       

As of May 9, 2009 I became a graduate of Bennett College in Greensboro, NC. I had plans dreams and goals, I wanted certain things to fall in order and happen. I should be preparing for graduate school; however I am not attending "Graduate School" in the Fall. ( I will eventually get my Masters, just not in the Fall.) I am deeply hurt, and perturbed by these events.  A Master's degree does not make a person! I know this!!!  I am currently interning for a company who has played me money wise; I learned a lot and I will not allow anyone to BS me.. .I may be young but I am an adult. Needless to say my last day with the company is tomorrow.  At this point I dodge the question when people want to know what I am doing since I have graduated. Honestly I rather not talk to people about what I want to do; Or what I wanted to do. Peoples reactions and comments sometimes throw me for a loop.

    I know it is horrible that I really cannot keep in touch with my close friends I recently graduated with. I find myself keeping a distance, and not returning phone calls or text messages because I feel as if we do not have anything in common anymore. I am going to be honest this ISH is tough. My dad keeps saying " stop looking at everyone else, and comparing yourself to everyone else."  It is kind of hard, sometime you have to take a look around you and see where people are going, and where are you going.  I am a driven person, with a determined spirit; but I feel broken, sometimes when people get to this point they make "stupid" decisions, and never think things through.

      Today I closed a new chapter in my life! I moved all of my belongings out of my apartment. My lease was up, but this was my very first apartment; it was a bitter sweet moment for me. but as I walked out of the apartment for the last time I felt as if I got rid of baggage that I was holding on to I felt a release. This new chapter is crazy for me as it begins... I am in North Carolina living with an aunt but I am debating if I should go back to Connecticut where I am from where my parents reside. CT is a place where people settle and become content with meritocracy.  I am not content with going back there!!!!! I am not ready to live under my parents roof again; I love my mom and dad a lot but I am not ready for that.... Leaving CT was the best thing I did; I went to an HBCU, and accomplished every goal I had, and every dream. I let go of my past and lived my life, without regret. I know I say I do not want to go back to CT, and I am sure you are reading this, and saying "don't go back," but I do not want to stay with my aunt too long where I feel like a burden. I do not want to go out on a limb and sign a lease for an apartment that I cannot afford. 

 So I wonder am I allowing this small stepping stone ( Situation) to destroy me???  Is it that deep? Or am I making it more than what it is? Is my ego playing a role because I do not want "any" job?   

Sorry if this post is all over the place, my mind is scattered, I would love to hear people's opinions and thoughts on this. * I am aware that I am the only one who can make a decision,  I am simply asking for one's thoughts and opinions on this situation. 

IM Not Sure how to approach this...

I have two major issues I would like to write about................

Tattoos you love them, you hide them, you show them. Tattoos are an expression of ones self, who and what a person is. Something they love, a quote they live by. Something a person went through. Why do people act as if tattoos are so negative? I understand it is permanent ink on ones body, but is it that serious? I am guilty of having several tattoos I actually love tattoos. They are all hidden except for one tattoo which is a butterfly on my inner wrist. A piece of jewelery can cover the tattoo up, but one would still be able to notice it. A lot of people do not understand the meaning of a butterfly, but it represents something you went through in life, and how you came out a stronger person. I am curious what is the big deal about tattoos? Why do people get them, keep them for a while, then decide they want to get them removed?

* Discuss*

Dreams are REAL!!!

For a while I have been thinking about my goals in college, that all came true. How did I get this dreams to come true? I wrote them down, looked at them and prayed about them. So many of us have goals, however we do not follow through. (NOT GOOD) We (including myself) have got to learn how to get goals accomplished. Talking about what you want to do will always be a dream, because you have never placed it in writing. When you place your goals in writing its like something magical happens, you become a step closer to making your dreams become a reality. Write the goals down and pray. Ask God to give you the strength each and everyday to work hard toward that goal. The harder you work towards the goal the easier it will be for you to get there.



There are so many dream killers out here it is crazy. You cannot share your dreams, goals or thoughts with everyone. Sometime family members can be dream killers, I know it is scary to think that, but it is true. Family members can be HATERS to... Know and understand your worth, and do not allow anyone to tell you, you are less than what you really are. Everything in life is about confidence. How confident are you when you walk out the door? Confidence always sells people, they do not have to know that you may not fully have everything together. If you can sell yourself and or product people may invest in you, or your product. You never know who is watching, and what they are watching for. For now on Live life and Love it!!! I'm sure we all have curve balls, and speed bumps and life, take it as a lesson learned and enjoy who you are...



With all of this said I hope this really helps someone.... .Life is so much fun when you know and understand your worth.. I am preparing myself for a bigger picture, and I am starting with my goals...



Remember: Follow your dreams, or you will work for somebody that did!!



* Be blessed, and enjoy your day.

The Other Girl

So the other night my girls and I sat down to talk about relationships, its one of our rituals. We talk about where we have been, life, how we felt, and what got us where we are. I guess as we get older this will be a more common factor. I write all of this because my small crew of friends do not share their business with everyone. When we talk, it is highly confidential, its just between us. I cannot NOT share this story..

Carmen (Not her real name) is a great friend of mine, we are around the same age she has been through more relationship issues than me, but I enjoy our "talks" because everything we talk about makes sense. About two years ago Carmen met this guy TY who was cool, he had a great sense of humor and their personalities matched well together. Well Carmen and TY got pretty serious, she was his ride or die.... She would do anything for him, because the level they were on she knew she could do whatever he needed. As time went on Carmen and Ty developed a strong bond. Life went on, and they stopped messing around but they still kept in touch if Carmen needed anything he was willing to give it to her and vice versa. If one of Ty's other chicks needed something and Carmen knew it she would play the "cousin" role, or "sister" role, and would help the other female.....

After we had this conversation I was a little taken back, I'd never judge my girl, however I would have NEVER EVER been able to play the role Carmen played. It blows my mind that you never know who the "other" girl is.

SN: I choose to place this pic of L. Hill because she talks about being the other girl in Miseducation Of Lauryn Hill..

* Discuss*

What are we doing?

As an African American woman I try my hardest to support all African American owned businesses. I have to admit it can be difficult at times, because I do not always agree with the foolishness we put out to the public, but if it's black owned I try to support it. What would the world be like if black owned businesses no longer existed? We have to support out own people. With this being said, I am sad that Vibe magazine will no longer exist. Vibe magazine brought more than hip-hop, it introduced some of the world's most influential African- American journalist. I am guilty I did not purchase every copy of Vibe Magazine, however if I knew they were suffering the way they were, I would have subscribed. We have to save "US" in this economy, because if we don't what will our future hold?


*Think On It*