I believe that when one decides he/she is going to start a relationship, or think about dating they should discuss "there" definition of cheating. Everyone has a different definition of cheating, and I think it is important to put that definition out there so people know.
Can a person cheat in their mind? Can you be in a monogamous relationship, however have thoughts of things you want to do to with someone else who is not your mate? This things may not even be things you ever think about doing with your mate. Would this be considered cheating? I do not believe so. I do believe that your mind sometimes can lead you into trouble. Once you begin to think about what you want to do with someone; your thoughts change and you decide you want to take action upon the thoughts.
Last week I sat on a relationships panel in Brooklyn, NY. A friend of mine was hosting a panel, and he said it wouldn't be right if I did not sit on the panel. There were interesting topics that were discussed, but what stood out to me the most was when we were on the topic of cheating. I blocked everything out, and began to write things down and take notes. What hit me the hardest was a young lady who stood up and stated these facts. " What makes a person committed to you, if there is no ring and no actual commitment where does monogamy come in at? I thought about this statement. It blew my mind. I started to think about my past relationships, and other peoples relationships. The scary thing about what this audience member said was it was not the first time I heard these exact words.
In your twenties are you suppose to be in a relationship? Or are you suppose to have fun, and learn lessons in life? People who are young, and have been in long relationships worry me. They worry me because they do not really get to feel what it is like to be single. If they marry that person, the older they get the desire to cheat becomes more tempting. Because they really never had the opportunity to live and enjoy there twenties. People who stay in long relationships, and become single worry me because they have tendencies to be a "good catch" but they always let you know they want to have sex with you, but not a relationships.
I am a believer that we date to find out what we want in life, and what we are willing to not settle for. When we date we look at peoples characteristics to see what type of mate we are going to marry. What kind of personality do you want him/her to have?
To concluded this post I look at my relationship resume, and wonder how many of my relationships were actually monogamous. Did I ever do something to my mate that he would have considered unfaithful? Did he do anything that I would have considered him being unfaithful? How do you know your in a faithful relationship? Are you cheating in your mind and you don't even know it? Are daydreaming about what you want to do with someone else, and not even realizing that while your dreaming about someone else, you are loosing in your relationship?
