Why The World is Single.

I haven't had a serious relationship in a while, and when I say a while I say a couple of years. I am cool with that. I am not seriously looking for a relationship. I am enjoying my twenties. It would be nice to have someone to build with, or to have someone to share my accomplishments with. But that is not where my life has placed me. As people, we get so caught up with others, and with what others have, we question where we are, and what we are doing, and why we do not have the things others have, such as love and relationships. We all have different walks in life. Looking at others, can cause us to make impulsive decisions because it looks good to others. I have seen and met so many people who are unhappily in a relationship. When did being single become such a bad thing? Whenever I meet a guy for the first time, we go on a couple of dates and we play the getting to know each other phase I am always asked the question why am I single?

Sometimes we need to be single so we can become familiar with ourselves. How can we share ourselves with someone else, if we are still trying to figure out who we are? Or if we do not even know who we are? Love is not as simple as it seems, love is a little more complex, then we think. I believe we as human beings should stop being so uptight and just live life. That is a problem we all have. We are so scared of getting hurt. Everything is a learning experience, and getting hurt is part of the process. We learn from the scars, and bruises.

I think so many of us are single, because we are scared of getting hurt. It is about the memories that make life. Think about how many memories you had with other people, and think about how you felt at that moment. If that person hurt you, that is the past. you learned from that situation. Never allow fear to come between the life you live. You may miss out on something that was a great thing, because of fear.

* Why do you think the world is single? What is the difference between love, lust and convenience? ( I need to know for a topic I am working on)

That's How You Feel.

I said I was not going to write about this situation. However, in order for me to move on and forget about the situation I must vent this out! I consider myself to be respectable, as well as a classy young lady.

This weekend I found myself relapsing in all of the wrong ways. I always said I want nothing to do with any of my ex- boyfriends. I do not like going back. The past is the past, and your an EX for a reason. I have been out of this relationship for a very long time. Regardless of the length that I have been out of this relationship, for some reason my ex, and I still have somewhat of contact.

This weekend a text came through, "lets hang out." (this text was from my ex) Ok I was not doing much, I planned on partying, and shopping. Just enjoying my crew. I replied OK, what did you have in mind? He replies " I don't know, It is on you." I am very creative, and I come up with some of the most out of the world events. Let's go have unlimited sangria, and some good Brazilain food. He replies "cool, meet me at my house at 8 PM. Done. Date is set. I throw on a black dress, and some causal accessories, with some heels.

We go eat, drink laugh and great conversation. It was a cool evening. As we are driving back to his house (because that is where I left my car) I am borderline falling asleep. He looks over at me, and tells me how beautiful I look. I am flattered, but it semi means nothing to me. I smile and say thanks. He goes on to tell me how much he misses me, and he has never since dated someone as outgoing and down as I. I explain to him I understand, but I encourage him to continue to date, and look around. ( I believe there is someone for everyone) We pull up to the house. For whatever reason I had to go in his house. I go in for a quick second. I have no alterior motives. I just needed to wash my hands, and I was ready to go home.

I wash my hands, and I turn to leave. He is now in his room. He calls for me to come to his room, as he lights a candle. I go into his room but I do not put two and two together. He lays out on the bed, and pulls the "come here"I look at him, and I say " ummm no I am going to go home, I am not sure what you have planned, but I am going to go ahead and go home." He looks at me in a confused manner. But he respected my decision. I walk to the door, and I tell him thank you for tonight, and I kiss him on the cheek.

During the ride home, I ask myself was he trying to have SEX with me. I get home I lay down on my couch, I see I have 3 unread text messages. The first text reads "so your too good for me?" the second text reads "any other girl would have been all over this" the third text reads " I am looking for a girl who is a bitch, and a freak."

* Discuss*

I want opinions, and thoughts.

The Ex Factor

   As a woman do we ever wonder how the hell do we meet certain men? What about me attracts this type of man? Or why is this the type of man I always meet? I was always told you are who you attract; is this true? Relationships/ Dating it can all be very tricky. 

   People always show us who they are in the beginning; however we always make up excuses because we do not want to accept that this is who the person is! It is interesting how men sell woman a dream. They hype themselves up, and tell all these extravagant lies. When it boils down to the true person, he is not who he said he was, nor is his life as extravagant as he described it to be. This normally happens during the "getting to know you phase." I cannot understand why people cannot be real about who they are; why cant people accept their life? At the end of the day you have to live with yourself, so why not accept who you are and embrace it. 

    About a year ago I met a young man who swept me off my feet! He was everything I needed/wanted. His personality was fantastic as well as his looks. He was a perfect gentleman he approached me with class, he was proper, it was perfect.  I met this young man in D.C. and we lived in the same town in North Carolina. It was perfect for the two of us to link up, date, and get to know each other. He spoke about his life, he had  a five year plan everything was going great! 

  The was a small difference between he, and most guys I dated. He was really into church.. Hey no biggie I was glad he LOVED church.  I knew from him talking that he has a very close relationship with his pastor. This was good, he even told me he spoke to his pastor about me, and his pastor wanted to meet me. ( Pause not a comfortable feeling for me) Ok I was excited to go to his church and meet his pastor and church family. He finally extends the invitation to attend his church. He and I talked for about three months before he extended the invitation. 

I get dressed, and I call my line sisters, school friends everyone. Can someone please go to this church with me. Everyone says NO! Ok I bite the bullet and I go. I made sure my skirt was knee length, I wore normal high heels, I made sure everything was on point. I get to the church it is small maybe like 30 members. everyone knows everyone. Darn, so I walk in and everybody wants to know who I am and who invited me. I tell them they look me up and down and they Oh ok! I have a seat and I moved three different times. The more, and more I move the closer I am to the front. the pastor preaches and church ends! I look for my friend he is having a conversation with someone else. OK  I will wait I think to myself, then he leaves!!!

 Wait my mind is racing did he just leave church without speaking to me or acknowledging that I am there? No this cannot be happening, I wait around for like five more minutes and he does not come back. I was hoping he and I were going to go do brunch or something after church, none of the above occur.  I never meet the pastor, I leave the church and head home.  I receive a text later that day from the young man stating " Hey I wanted to speak to you, but I was really under the spirit." 

I continued to talk to this young man for  a couple of more months, and I went back to his church and he didnt speak. After a while I gave up, I dont believe in the chasing game; life is too short to chase anyone. To this day I still have the unanswered question as to why he did not speak to me in church.

* Why do you think he didnt speak to me in church? 

Brief Update

I need to re-do this blog.. I need to add some spice to it! I need to be more of a consistent blogger. I know that I recently wrote a post, stating that I would blog more often. To be honest I have started so many stories, but I have yet to finish or post the stories. They are sitting in my folder waiting to be finished. Maybe I am being lazy! I have no excuse for not publishing those stories.

Now that 2010 is here I am going to work on becoming a successful blogger. I first have to start with changing the blogs appearance, and I must come up with the focus that I want my blog to have. The purpose of my writing. I will be working on changing the blog around for the next two weeks. The week of January 20th I will be finished with the construction of the blog and I will be able to focus on the writing.

I look forward to reading your comments, and getting to know you all better January 20, 2010..

Miss. Alasha

Consistency..

I am fully aware that I need to be more consistent with my blog. I am going to work on adding my blog to my daily routine. I have not finished my D.C. Trip series of stories, I will eventually finish those. I am currently doing some reflecting which is never new with me! I am looking at my life and the people I have in it.  I have some great friends, Sorority Sisters, and family members. I am also looking at the people I have lost contact with in 2009. I have to say it honestly does not hurt. 

There are a lot of people I have been friends with that were only "seasonal." Meaning we were not meant to be friends for a long time. Either I needed them for a period in my life, or they needed me! As I sit and think about the seasonal friends of 2009; I had some great times with them and I wish them the best with everything. 

 On a lighter note, I had the opportunity to go to my old stomping grounds North Carolina... The end of October for homecoming. I had a ball, but came to the realization there are some things I no longer want to participate in. As a child I did childish things, when I became an adult I put away those childish things.  I look at life in a different view, therefore I am totally over having a new outfit, stunting, and trying to make my life seem like it is so much better than everyone else life.  However, I did enjoy myself in NC, and I had a great time! 

* This is all I really have to share for now, I am going to work on trying to update on a daily basis. 

D.C. Part 2

I am a pretty observant person, I always take in everything that is going on around me. I love D.C. and I am especially grateful for the experiences and eye openers that I had while in D.C. 

We have all since exchanged numbers, we are still in D.C. and we are prepping to go and enjoy our final night. My linesister, myself, and my girl are all getting dressed we are getting ready to go grab something to eat, and then the rest is up in the air. 

I failed to mention someone who was on the trip, because I did not think he was that important. However for this part of the story he is. John (who is a late aged twenty something gay man who rode down with us) John knocks on my door, and wants to know where we are going, and what are plans are for the evening. We tell him, we are not to sure but we are going to grab a bite to eat.  C. is the name of the guy who I told you about earlier. We tell John that we are going to more than likely go out and eat with C, and his friends. He says cool, and asks if he can come with. We all agree he can and out we go. 

   We enter the restaurant we are all seated at the table. C, his boys my girls and John. C, of course sat across from me! he and I are engaged in conversation about life, school, and dreams. I notice John, glancing at me in a weird manner, I really do not care about how he is looking at me. I continue my conversation! we prepare to go to some fraternity party, John is now rushing us all out of the restaurant because he has to go back to the hotel. ( side eye) * my thought is why are we being rushed out to bring you back?* Whatever!!! we drop John off at the hotel and end up at a hotel down the street from where we are all staying.  

We all sit in the lobby and talk, and laugh at the randomness that is going on around us. I get up to go to the bathroom and my Linesister is on my heels walking to the bathroom with me. She looks at me and says I think there is some down low shit going on here! Huh, (blank stare) what do you think is going on? She says John wants C!!!!! You have C's attention and he is mad...  He really wants C. Why would he want C? I ask my LS do you think C has gay tendencies? She says if so they are not visible. Now I am floored, I do not know how to look at the situation.  We go back to the hotel lobby, I sit down and I am quiet! I have nothing to say, I am trying to process this situation. Is he gay? or is he attracted to men? It does not matter, I do not want anything to do with this, or him. I am not sure what he wants.

D.C. Part 1

       Last September my Senior year of college, I decided to attend the CBC ( Congressional Black Caucus)   I always have and always will have a crazy love affair with D.C... I freaking LOVE D.C.... While attending the CBC, they have a job/career fair that is going on downstair in the main lobby. I get a call from my Aunt telling me to come meet her down there. I go down stairs and I meet her.  We walk from table to table, meet people, Network and get business cards.  Of course she runs into people she knows from NC.. She introduces me to this young man! We shake hands smile and thats it. ( NO CONNECTION) 

    In the beginning this guy and I have no connection from that first meeting. My aunt somehow gets some tix for a LL Cool J party at LOVE. My God Sis is underage, which means she is not going to get in. I  make some calls, trying to establish my party network which is important in one's 20's. and my boy says he cant get her in because she is not of age; he can get us in without tickets.  Clearly a fail.. I didn't get to go any of the hot parties during the CBC!!!!!!  Disappointed was a n understatement.. I am now ready to go back to NC. 

My Line Sister who lives in D.C. calls me and says she is on her way to my hotel!!! I cant wait to see her.  I get fly, Prepped because she always has something up her sleeve for fun.  I tell my God Sis to get ready.. My LS gets to the hotel I go down to meet her in the lobby.  The lobby is packed with nothing but Black people with their best on. I run into my aunt, who is talking to a group of young guys.. ( Cougar) I sashay over to where my aunt is with my LS, and God Sis. We all engage in a conversation.  The guys say they are about to go get something to eat would we like to join them.. YESSSS!!!!!! We go out to eat, we engage in some deep conversations:  Black community, education, Sorority/Fraternity........... 

We leave the restaurant and go to a local hotel. ( Not my HOTEL)  I am kind of digging this dude James, his whole vibe is on point! He is 24 years old, owns his own business he can speak a proper sentence, he well educated! I like him, at the end of the night we end up exchanging numbers.. Of Course my girls exchanged numbers with his friends.